“  what  hideous  sin  have  you  committed lately? ”

     “Well let’s SEE.”

The Master begins to impenitently check absurdities off his black-nailed fingers.

    “Didn’t recycle a plastic bottle when the recycling bin was two feet away; stole candy from a baby and ate it in front of his weeping fat little tomato-red face; poured red dye in an evangelical church’s swimming pool, prompting panic over Moses 2.0; put gum under an antique chair; ate fish that wasn’t sustainably caught–in front of a vegan; killed the vegan later; kicked sundry puppies; have you caught on to the fact that I’m taking the piss right now?”