tryvyalsynnes:

kaaras-adaar:

damndirtyrat:

Symptoms Of A Toxic Roleplay Partner

I’ve seen a few of these PSA’s going around, but very few of them cover some of the stuff I’m come across in my seven years in the RPC, so here’s a couple more: 

• Tries to force their headcanons about your character onto you. Gets mad when you don’t use them. 
• Threatening to kill their character as punishment for something you “did.” This could be anything, from disagreeing with something they’ve said ooc, to declining to ship with their character. 
• In the same vein–attempting to maim/kill your character in some way because they are mad at you for some offense or another. 
• Taking their ooc feelings out on you in character in any way, which refers to bullet above this one. 
• Bad-mouthing your ships with other muns, or trying to talk you into abandoning ships with other muns. 
• Stalks your other roleplay partners, doesn’t like you roleplaying with other muns. 

• Guilt tripping
• Needing constant reassurance 
• Excessive interest to a point it’s unhealthy and potentially stalkerish behaviour.
• Isolating you and making you rely on comfort from them alone (by making you feel as if they are your only friend)
• Insulting other RP blogs, especially ones you RP with 
• Trying to control your dash and what you post (via excessive tag use)
• Vague blogging when you show interest in other people (also just general vague blogging), this is also a guilt tripping tactic.
• Attacking you and/or your muse via monologue in threads (I’m just jotting it down again even tho it’s up above because this seriously does happen!)
• Using their muses as a scapegoat to their actual feelings (this happens with possessive and jealous mods a LOT)
• Backhanded compliments (insulting you or your muse, only to try and make it a compliment afterwards)
• Passive aggressive behaviour in general (goes with vague blogging)
• Treating you negatively if you aren’t replying to them immediately (goes with guilt tripping)
• Generally making you feel like a bad person and friend
• You’ve somehow become their therapist 

Guys, if you feel like you are being manipulated or a person is toxic, chances are that YOU ARE RIGHT. Some of these things don’t show themselves until it’s FAR TOO LATE and you’re stuck in a bad situation you don’t know how to get out of.

Empathetic people are often HUGE AND EASY targets for narcissists and manipulators. 

Here’s a tip: TRUST YOUR GUT. If you don’t feel like you are comfortable talking to someone or Rping with someone, then don’t. You don’t owe anyone anything by being here. You’re here to enjoy your time, and people like this can be exceptionally clever in cornering and isolating you by using the methods above, but also note that these things often don’t show themselves straight away and you might be caught up in having a new friends who makes you feel special and loved. 

But there are ALWAYS signs. Even if they are very small. Keep an eye on them and look after yourself, and I mean it: Trust. Your. Gut. It’s the only thing that will protect you from situations like this unless you’re lucky enough to have a close friend who can help you avoid situations like this. 

I’m going to add a bunch of things I’ve learned to watch out for during the initial contact when forming a relationship with a new partner; hopefully, this can help people avoid getting into toxic RP relationships.

• Avoid people who try to intimidate and control you using peer pressure. They might imply they have a lot of friends, that they belong to a clique, infer that if you make them happy they’ll help you gain acceptance or put in a good word for you with someone who ships your OTP. (they want to play power games and control you)
• Especially get the heck away from them quickly if at any point they imply they will backbite you and drag you to all their friends if you don’t make them happy. This is never ok. (bullying)
• Be alert to anyone who thinks you ought to want to RP with them because they’re ‘experienced’, ‘well-known’, know the ‘right people’ and have ‘lots of friends in the RPC’, or seems to think these things should be goals for RPers, and check to see if they want to RP with you because they think you are all these things. (they’re going to try to use and control you)
• Avoid people who think there’s a ‘social pecking order’ in the RPC that determines who writes a start or who tops or bottoms in a romantic ship. (power games again)
• Detach from people who ‘represent you’ by consistently talking about you behind your back, no matter what the reason, and who share RPs or writing you have not made public. (gatekeeping, secretary)
• Watch out for people who imply they have already made you a topic of conversation with someone before they approached you for the first time in order to check you out. (they’re deceitful and a gossip and they’ll never stop second-guessing you or talking behind your back, and the person who knows you and who talked to them is a gatekeeper)
• Avoid people who have ‘one big problem’ that conveniently prevents them from doing most everything, including most basic things like being polite, unless they arbitrarily ‘feel like it’. (lazy socializing)
• Watch for people who don’t read or seem to understand your rules. Speak up in case it’s a misunderstanding one time, twice if they’re making an effort but don’t tolerate this past a third time. (they’re using you)
• Your partner harasses you: makes you argue with them, defend yourself, repeat yourself, justify something you’re saying or doing over and over. (escalating aggression)