“Happy birthday!” The Doctor beamed as she ran up to him, hugging him happily . “I’ve made you a cake too!”

It’s Koschei’s birthday! 

The Master watches the Doctor’s eagerly joyous aassault, with knowing anticipation. He flings open his arms and catches her, hands cupping her bum so she can cling on by all fours.

     “Do I get to lick the spoon?” he challenges wickedly, affording her a deep, warm kiss.  

*literally throws muse at him*

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The Master, seeing the Projectile Best Friend, drops a project at which he’s labored for sixty-eight solid hours, and it shatters, motherboard, wires, bolts, and all, onto the ground, in a fantastical cacophony of destruction.  

He lets out an undignified squeak, just as the Doctor’s body strikes his, and he goes flying back onto his ass. 

      “What the DEVIL? What in the name of RASSILON’S LEFT TESTICLE?!”