//I have no love for or interest in anything anymore. It’s just. Gone. I’m trying so hard but unless I’m insanely over caffeinated and frankly happy that the day’s over and I can go back to sleep soon, I feel nothing at all.

#depression#and please don’t message asking what you can do or trying to help#it honestly just makes me feel guilty for troubling nice people#this is something that will be fixed when i have resumed work and made some new local friends#it’s just difficult waiting it out

 i’m having. i dunno if it’s a cold relapse, or a migraine, or ketones, or what, but i need to lie down.  i’ve now been seriously ill for 17 consecutive days, and all local doctors have refused to take new patients until the beginning of next month.  i would go to the emergency room but when i do that i usually pick up a secondary infection from another patient.  at this point i guess i’ll just always be sick and since i’m already seriously chronically ill i should just be used to that, but i can’t help but feel like this shouldn’t be forever.