Super Important PSA 

I just want to make something super clear. ThirteenXSimm is my Thoschei otp but not once has it occurred to me that, because he is male-presenting and she is female-presenting, this should become a “good girl reforms bad boy story.” I DO NOT want that.  If you want to do that, fine, go to. But that will NOT be the content of MY blog.  

This is for several reasons:

1. The good girl saves bad boy trope is hackneyed and implicitly misogynistic. 
2. Both the Master and the Doctor are genderfluid.  Their notions of gender are not constrained by human concepts, including problematic concepts, of “roles” in relationships.  I reject misogyny as a trait of the Master in the RTD and Moffat eras, save as a verbal weapon and series of human beliefs which he does not himself ascribe to, because it makes no sense.
3. From an outside-of-universe standpoint: this genderfluidity means they’ve never been a problematically mainstream “cis het” pairing and never will be.  
4.  I want the Master to save himself. Because at his core, he is a being who craves autonomy and control.  He would want to rescue himself with the AID and GUIDANCE of a loved one (which is what I like to explore in my threads with Thirteens. He would not want to be spoon-fed salvation. Which is exactly why Missy in the Vault, moving though it was, resulted in tragedy. 
5.  The Doctor deserves better than to be someone’s moral nursemaid.  
6.  It would be boring. 

Also: TOMORROW (December 12) is Koschei’s birthday. 

PSA

My dashboard and blogs are I believe being affected by what is either a site-wide glitch or an element, whether unforeseen or planned, of the sitewide “family friendly” purge.  My dash is dead and yet apparently people have been posting things regularly that simply don’t appear on the dash.  Across all my blogs, I have only one flagged post (so far), but apparently this site is trying to eliminate the use of images in text posts entirely.

For me, this is problematic. I have 4,000+ images across my 7 rp blogs that I use for rp and that is the chief reason why I remain on this site as an rp venue as opposed to html-based message boards.  

So if this continues, this will be the thing that makes me migrate elsewhere. For the foreseeable future,  however, at least through the holidays, I won’t be moving, but I will be rping without icons until this is sorted.   Because I rely heavily on icon-based rp, you should expect me to be less active here than usual. 😦 I’m sorry.

icyxmischief:

In case people are wondering where I’ve been, mom’s extreme leg pain has not eased up for a week. We have been to two doctors and the er without resolution. It is 5 am currently and she is screaming out and crying in pain in the other room. Her blood work came back “normal” so nobody believes she’s in this much pain or will help. This is not normal for her. She powers through pain all the time.

I have never seen her seem so old defeated and frail.

So I’m taking her back to the er later this morning and insisting they perform more tests.

But yeah point is watching a loved one helplessly suffer? Not hugely conducive to writing. Sorry.

Mini hiatus through Thanksgiving weekend!

Hate to do this, guys, but this year I’ve moved back to my hometown and that means tons of guests and social obigations this week (I’m American and it’s Thanksgiving week).  I know this will disappoint some of you and I’m really really sorry, but I promise to be back to Tumblr regularly after this weekend.  

If you’re a close mutual with whom I interact outside of Tumblr, you can probably still reach me late evenings (after 10 pm EST) on Skype.  

Okay so.

The timeframe for my med withdrawal is 3-4 days for the acute phase (I’m on day 3) and after that 10-14 days of milder but prolonged symptoms. I was on a very low dose of the med, and never exceeded one pill a day, sometimes every other day, when apparently some people take it 3-4 times a day or more and at double the dose I take, and for years. So I am hoping this means my withdrawal will be short. So far I haven’t had severe versions of any of the withdrawal symptoms listed, which apparently can become very dangerous and even deadly.  

The point of all this is a request for patience lol while I undergo this basically without any medical assistance (lmao all the doctor said was “stop taking it, bye!” and apparently doctors are supposed to put you on downward titration and then on transition meds….).  Among the symptoms I experience, are nausea, dizziness, vomiting, extreme headache, frequent urination, light and sound sensitivity, irritability, anxiety, loss of appetite and weight loss, hand tremors, depression and “surges of panic and rage” (those are fun lol).   

I will do my best but if I’m not here I promise it ain’t for fun reasons lol. 

illusivexemissary:

//I just want everyone to know that I’m doing the best I can but because I put what I thought I SHOULD be doing first this past week, instead of what I NEED to be doing (that is, for other people, instead of for myself), my weight loss stopped and my physical and mental health both took a drastic downturn. I cannot do that anymore.  I am 35 and not willing to lose the rest of my prime fervently scrambling to please others.  

I don’t mean this to sound harsh, but what that means is that rp blogs are going to take a drastic backseat to real life, and yes, that includes Skype rp too.  When I am here, I will do the drafts that intellectually and emotionally stimulate me first, and I will stop apologizing for that as well.  If you want to read into that as me having “favorites” or “not valuing you” when that is so far from the truth, I cannot control your perceptions and I will no longer try to. 

My life needs to be more balanced. And by January all of this will be moot because I will be back to work teaching full-time.  People need to start getting used to me not being around constantly anyway.

I can’t fix everything for everybody.  Not that anybody thinks they’re asking for that, but they are.  Thanks for understanding that I’m only human.