send “grip” to grip my muse’s jaw in your muse’s hand; Romantic, platonic or threatening it is up to you!
“ … . oh sis.”
He whispers it almost rapturously, as though bearing reverent witness to the collapse of a great star: himself.
“D’you really hate us so much now, that you’d kill me and erase yourself?”
“No, of course not. But sometimes, the thought is there, deep down. And it’s hard to push it away. I just wonder how it feels to be threatened by your own self, dear. Maybe I’ll remember this?”
Missy kept her grip on her younger self, knowing it could go wrong but of course she didn’t care about it. She would push her luck.
“Would you? Knowing you wouldn’t erase yourself, would you do it?”
“NO.”
The force and certitude of the reply is nearly palpable: nearly a wind gale that can be felt against the face. Perhaps that’s because the Master’s mind produces the sentiment–the mind that, with sheer force of will, can bend the thoughts and emotions of others.
It’s enough to dislodge Missy’s hand from his throat. He scrambles away, with a stinging lack of dignity. But then he straightens and affords her a searing glare.
“I was bluffing that day I hit you with my laser, and you SURELY know it! Because here you stand! I only wanted to prevent you from going to the Doctor in such a way that compromised your freedom! That’s not hate, Missy, I LOVE you! All that I HAVE, in my darkest hours, is ME. My will, my beliefs, my dogged determination to survive! And you are one exquisitely beautiful part of that!”
Happy loom-day me! In the first book you’ll find some friends and even a self-cameo! The cats have learned from us in the second book. A time lady lord should never be without some eyeliner. Here’s a nice looking coffee press, you can use it for anything!
ooxoo
~K~
“Dearest Sis, I am positively chuffed. Trust me to know, well, me. I’m a tea person, but these days, I’ve grown more and more accustomed to the bean brew. Should be of use when I’m out in the wildernesses of some distant planet or period. While reading these riveting texts, and winging my eyeliner in such a way as can cut a bitch.”
“ … . I honestly don’t know, Sis. I’ve come to a point where that’s not even my modus operandi anymore. But I do know it would have taken me a far shorter mourning period for the … certainty that I at least had myself. That at least I would never betray me. Even for my best friend’s sake. I’ve always known … . I have only myself. Madly as we may love the Doctor … . we can’t rely upon them. Not if we wish to be our own master.”
“I know that we only have ourselves. I know that. Don’t think it won’t get worse after you regenerate, because it will. But even after all that he had done, even after everything, all the fighting, all… this, you’ll figure out that this time. This time, he really wants to help and he will. He did help, believe me or not.”
Missy sighed and looked away. “I just hope that at this point you won’t hate me for this. Because I know that if you were the one doing it, I wouldn’t blame you, Junior. Because that’s who we are. So dangerous, even to ourselves.”
“But we’re SELF-PRESERVING too! We SURVIVE, Missy! That’s our badge of honor! I’m not asking that you reject the Doctor, I’m asking WHY you felt the need to try and kill ME!”
“Was I really so disgusting to you?”
You should not have had to choose between the Doctor and your own dignity.
@eminenceoftime asked: (here comes the pain train) “Are you truly disappointed with who we become?”
“No,” Koschei breathes, with a look of alarmed incomprehension. “Sis, you’re the most fearsome tigress in the cosmos. I worship you. I was scared you were becoming little more than an accessory to the one person who is our shared great weakness. That’s not the same as disappointment. I was trying to protect our legacy. To keep you from being tamed and diluted. You needn’t lose who you are to do something someone else deems ‘good.’”
Icarus 