Pretty gang, sir, pretty gangster (gangster)
Said she was better than me, what a prankster (prankster)
Call me A.I., sir, I’m The Answer (Answer)
I’m in the playoffs, sir, I advance, sir (advance, sir)
Automatic, sir, my bitch the baddest, sir (bitch bad)
I’m livin’ lavish, sir, fuck all the static, sir (fuck all the static)
Stars in the ceilin’, sir, dope in the attic, sir
Tarzan, sir, I drive fast, sir (drive faster)
Cockin’ hammers, sir, cockin’ hammers, sir
Found boss, sir, I have a drought, sir
Them bum bitches ain’t allowed, sir
Excuse my manners, sir, excuse my manners, sir

New slaves, but I’m still the master (master)

~Nicki Minaj 

//I don’t have much time left b4 my net is cut off for several days so just imagine this:  

Simm Master grudgingly doing altruistic things at first because it pleases the Doctor and eventually, over time, because he redevelops the conscience he had as a Time Tot; all the while his ruthless pragmatism never fades, so this leads him to do things like run out of a burning building, saving his own skin, then snagging his conscience, rolling his eyes and groaning, running back in, and carrying a small child back out overhead like Simba, clothes singed, hissing “SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!!” through his teeth, angry at himself for going soft, grouchy, the grumpiest reluctantly heroic evil koala.  

You just smiled didn’t you. Go ahead it’s okay. Smile at the dumb evil asshole going the way of Missy in the Vault.  

Person: Who’s your best friend of all time?
Doctor:
Master: *chews on nails!*
Doctor: 
Master: *tries to regulate breathing!*
Doctor:
Master: *sweats!* 
Doctor: The Master was. 
Master: *sweats harder!* 
Doctor: ….is. 
Master: 

image
image
image

//I regret to inform you all that Koschei has already decided to call Graham “Graham Cracker.”  I am so sorry for this nefarious dumbass.

Please return to your regularly scheduled scrolling. 

masterwhy42:

rundalek:

Simm!Master in The Doctor Falls.

Can we talk about how angry the master was in this episode. I mean he’s always had an angry streak to him but this one seemed like he had delt with something big (maybe even bigger then what when in with the time liars and the time war.) Anyone have any thoughts on this?

@masterwhy42  You should take a gander through my meta tag and also if you like I can give you some headcanon ideas I share with @doctamastacanon @audale and @alez-on-mars 

Like I agree with you 120%, the Master’s conduct and demeanor were a thousand shades bitterer and less enthusiastically delightedly wicked.  He was miserable and furious and embittered, and since that’s an incomprehensible leap from being on the precipice of teaming up with or traveling with the Doctor in End of Time, that leaves two possibilities:

1) the writing is, in parts, poor, and at the Master’s expense for the sake of other characters seeming sympathetic (I still contend this is partly the case, but we can’t do much with or about that aside write fix-it fics, which hey, I am all for)

and/or

2) something severely traumatic was done to the Master after he drove Rassilon and the Time Council back into the timelock.  Because let’s face it, Rassilon saw both the Doctor and the Master as aberrations to be used when it was convenient; tools (hell that’s the reason why the Master had what everyone always thought was an auditory hallucination all his life) which Rassilon referred to openly as “diseased.”  Rassilon wants revenge on both the Doctor and the Master; as we know, he gets revenge in the Confession Dial on the Doctor later, with Twelve, so why wouldn’t he get it on the Master, too?  Right when he was in his clutches? The Doctor assumes the Master was “fixed” by the Time Council, since his unstable resurrection energy has been calmed, but the Master refers to both that time and his time as a leader on Mondas as something the Doctor “wouldn’t understand,” with an unusual grimness and reserve.  To me this suggests the “fixing” on Gallifrey that he eventually escaped with a new TARDIS did not come without catches and conditions.  Perhaps he was used as a weapon once again, as they intended him to be during the earlier stages of the Time War.   My friends and I have hypothesized that he was even kept on Gallifrey for a time equivalent to the Doctor’s Confession Dial punishment, over four billion years, perhaps imprisoned, perhaps not, but fed incessant imagery of the Doctor failing to ever come to save him, and return the favor he paid him in End of Time.  

This combination of factors would explain his incomprehensible rage toward Twelve, when the last time he saw the Doctor, as Ten, they had come as close to a detente as they ever did in New Who, or arguably the entire series, before Missy’s arc.  

Asks, ASKS YOU SAY? Okay! Five of Koschei’s favourite things, five of his least favourite things. Five of his best quotes from the show, five things about Koschei that make him Koschei, five animals you could compare Koschei too and lemme seeee five of the best Dr and Koschei moments, rp or otherwise :3

LEMME SEE.

Five of Koschei’s favourite things
–The Doctor 
–Danger and adventure
–Challenges
–Praise and glory 
–Destruction and chaos; breaking rules; violating axioms  

five of his least favourite things
–Being forgotten, insignificant, or obsolete
–Stupidity
–Boredom
–Sanctimony and pedantry
–Restrictions and limitations 

Five of his best quotes from the show
–”Get out of the way. … You did this to me! All of my life! You made me! One! Two! Three! Four!”
–”Thank you, one and all, you ugly, fat-faced bunch of wet, snivelling traitors.”
–”Very fast bottom.” 
–”The Doctor’s dead. He told me he’d always hated you. Let’s go.”  
–”I always dress for the occasion.”
–”So it came to pass, that the human race fell… and the Earth was no more. And I looked down upon my new dominion, as Master of all, and I thought it… good.”
–”The human race… Greatest monsters of them all.”
–Since when do you care about the Doctor?” “Since always.”
– “Try, Nano-brain, to rise above the reproductive frenzy of your noisy little food chain and contemplate friendship. Friendship older than your civilization, and infinitely more complex.”
–“I am the Master and you will obey me.”
–“A cosmos without the Doctor scarcely bears thinking about.”
– “I had estates. Do you remember my father’s land back home? Pastures of red grass stretching far across the slopes of Mount Perdition. We used to run across those fields all day. Calling up at the sky. Look at us now.”
–”Listen listen listen listen. Every minute, every second, every beat of my hearts. There it is, calling to me. Please listen.”
–”It’s real. It’s real!”

five things about Koschei that make him Koschei
–Arrogance 
–Intellect
–Determination
–Ferocity
–Longing 
–Drama (I had to add one more lmfao) 

five animals you could compare Koschei to
–A cat
–A koala
–A MONGOOSE
–A ferret
–A rat lol 

five of the best Dr and Koschei moments, rp or otherwise 
This will require more thought!